


Torn

by Rosalita



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adultery, Episode Tag, Episode: Fire and Water, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-12
Updated: 2010-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-10 12:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalita/pseuds/Rosalita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of "Fire and Water", Jack and Daniel must decide what direction their relationship will take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Torn

**Author's Note:**

> J/D Ficathon story. Written for Widget who asked for smut, angst, bittersweet and humor. She got the smut and the angst. I tried for bittersweet and some humor. I'm pretty sure I completely lost the bonus points for plot, though. Thank you to lady of asheru for the fantastic eleventh hour beta and suggestions. You're the tops!

  
_Daniel was burning. Daniel was screaming, begging for help. The stench of burning flesh was strong in his nostrils. Then, the screaming stopped and the silence was worse._

  
Jack slammed upright, biting off his yell, and nearly rolled off the bed trying to get away from the dream. Shaking hands threw off sweaty sheets, and he stumbled through the dark toward the bathroom.

He didn't turn the light on. He didn't need to. This had been going on every night since his team had arrived in the gate room from P3X-866 without Daniel. He'd worn a path from his bed to the toilet where he routinely threw up until he had nothing left.

Groaning quietly at the pain in his gut, he lay down on the bathroom floor. He pressed his cheek to the dark, cool tiles and reminded himself that Daniel was alive and sleeping in his guest room at the end of the hall. He hadn't died. He hadn't burned up. The terrible images of his death had been planted in his mind by that walking fish stick.

Nem, he heard Daniel's voice correct him just as he did every time Jack failed to call the giant sushi by his proper name, which he never did. Trust Daniel to make friends with the damn thing and allow it to tap into his brain or whatever it had done. He could have been killed or permanently brain damaged, for crying out loud.

Not surprisingly, Daniel felt sorry for it and wanted to help. Jack had to admit that Daniel had something in common with the being who was searching for his mate just as Daniel was searching for Sha're. Jack understood that even if he'd rather fish breath had just asked for help. Daniel would have said yes, and after much arguing, Jack would have agreed. He didn't have to make them all think Daniel was dead. Daniel would say that Nem was just doing what he felt he had to do to learn what happened to his mate, but Daniel was way more forgiving than Jack was.

He'd believed the lie completely. So had Teal'c and Sam. The false memories had been so real that they'd arrived in the gate room in shock. They'd held a memorial service for Daniel, and a wake. He'd been a little pissed at Daniel's refusal to accept that he would say nice things about him as his memorial service. As if he wouldn't. He'd meant every word of it, too, even if every word had deepened the nearly unbearable ache in his heart.

The grief was real even if the death wasn't. It was hard sometimes to remember that he wasn't supposed to be grieving anymore.

Stifling a groan, he pulled himself off the floor slowly. He was way too old for this crap. He flushed the toilet, cleaned up and set off down the hall for the next part of what was becoming a nightly ritual, checking on Daniel.

Light was seeping from around the partially opened door of the guest room. Daniel had probably fallen asleep reading again. Or at least Jack hoped so. He really didn't want to explain why he was lurking around Daniel's bedroom at 12:30 in the morning.

He opened the door slowly, sucking in a breath as it issued a loud squeak. Daniel didn't stir. When he finally fell asleep, he slept like the dead. Jack flinched inwardly. He hated cliches, especially that one.

Daniel was lying on his stomach with the sheets bunched around his waist, exposing his long back. Jack slipped quietly into the room and let his eyes travel down the length of that back, following the curve of Daniel's shoulders, down his spine, dipping into the small of his back and then on to the round ass hidden beneath the covers. Daniel shifted then and the covers slipped down further, revealing a pale hip. Jack's mouth went dry with the realization that Daniel was naked under the sheets.

He was such a pervert, standing there ogling his best friend's body. He should get out. Daniel was fine and that was all Jack had come in for. Really. He'd wanted to check on Daniel and now he had and now he should leave. As he turned to go, he heard a softly slurred "Jack?"

Busted. He looked back to see Daniel blinking at him groggily. He licked his lips absently and turned slowly onto his back. Jack hated it when Daniel licked his lips. It made him think bad thoughts about those lips and the places they could go and the things they could do. Daniel's lazy maneuvers had caused the covers to slip down his body even further. Jack just managed to silence his groan at the tease of dark pubic hair peaking up above the covers.

"What's the matter?" came the sleepy voice, pulling Jack's eyes back up to Daniel's face where sleep-tousled hair fell into half-mast blue eyes and full lips curled into a drowsy smile.

"Thought I heard something," Jack said. "It was nothing. Go back to sleep." Jack started to edge out of the room, desperate to get out before something stupid happened.

Daniel was shaking his head, still wearing that sweet, dreamy smile. "That's not why you're here, is it, Jack?" The soft half statement, half question floated between them like a feather drifting on air.

"No," Jack said impulsively, his dick becoming heavy inside his boxers. As if there were an invisible rope tying him to Daniel, he was lured closer to the bed. He would have liked to blame it all on Daniel, to say he'd been bewitched and couldn't be held responsible, but it was he who, of his own accord, climbed on to the bed and straddled Daniel's legs. His hands that grasped the blankets and slid them down slowly down and his head that lifted to see that Daniel was no longer drowsy, but wide awake and propped on his elbows eying him with a hungry look. Daniel jerked and gasped when the cotton sheets caught on the head of his half-hard cock before they slid completely off.

Jack moved forward and Daniel obligingly spread his legs to give him room. Where had he gotten the idea that Daniel was shy? There was not a hint of shyness or resistance as he allowed Jack to slip a hand around to the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss. The nape of his neck was warm, and his lips were soft, but his tongue was hard and driving. The tongue that had teased him for months, darting out to wet lips dry with nervousness, was now pushing its way into his mouth boldly. It twined with his own tongue, pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it lightly at first, then more strongly as their lips crushed together.

Daniel's mouth tasted earthy and rich, like the coffee he drank by the gallon. All those lonely nights that Jack had spent fantasizing about kissing Daniel, he'd never imagined it would be this good. Nor that his skin would taste so sweet or feel so silky beneath his lips.

Or that his low moans and gasps, his sigh when Jack slid his entire body along Daniel's would be so arousing. Daniel's long fingers slid down his body and cupped his ass, pulling him closer. He pushed his hips into Daniel's, reveling in the answering thrust of Daniel's body.

Mistake, this was a mistake. Daniel was vulnerable, and frankly, so was he. He gathered himself reluctantly and tried to pull back, but Daniel wrapped his long legs around his waist.

"No, Jack, please. Please."

"Daniel, I don't think . . . "

"Don't think! Just do it!" He thrust up against Jack's groin again and his fingers snuck into the crack of Jack's ass and Jack's resistance took a hike. He pushed down again, sliding his cock alongside Daniel's, trapping both between their sweat slick bellies. They bucked against each other harder and faster. Each stroke drawing moans and murmurs of pleasure, in English from Jack, in a variety of languages from Daniel.

Daniel's fingers drew a line between Jack's balls and his asshole and back. Over and over until Jack thought the lower half of his body would explode. Daniel's head was thrown back on the pillow, his hair in his eyes, and Jack suddenly had to touch it. It was so soft and he took a handful and used it to tug Daniel up for a kiss. He nipped at his lips and down his throat before heading for his tight, brown nipple. He lapped at it and Daniel squirmed beneath him.

Jack knew he couldn't last much longer, and Daniel must have known it too since he picked that moment to push one of his teasing fingers inside Jack's ass. Jack bit down on Daniel's nipple and they were both coming, shaking and panting and holding one another as if they'd shake apart if they let go.

  
+++++

Daniel was seriously fucked. Um . . .rephrasing: He was in big trouble. About the only thing he and Jack hadn't done the night before was fuck. They'd rubbed, stroked and sucked every inch of each other's bodies for hours, but they hadn't fucked. And he didn't even want to think about that. Thinking about would lead to a hard on, which would lead to his waking Jack and begging to be fucked.

He was such a bastard. Nem had been searching for his mate for 4000 years, and Daniel couldn't even make it six months. Sha're was out there somewhere, held captive in her own body and being forced to endure unimaginable trauma, and he was lying in bed listening to Jack's soft snores.

What a complete mess. It never would have happened if Jack would just invest in a goddamned can of WD-40 and fix that door. It woke him every night when Jack came in to check on him, but last night, he'd been dreaming of Sha're and Jack and as usual the two were tempting him--Jack with the adventure and freedom and Sha're with the home and stability he'd never had.

Ever since he'd watched Jack walk through the Stargate, he had tried to forget his feelings for him. It figured that he'd go through his life never really falling in love with anyone and then fall in love with two people at the same time. And that his love for both was equally strong which made it all the harder to make the choice. But really, the choice was made for him, wasn't it? Jack had Sara and was on his way home to mend his marriage.

But now Jack was divorced and Sha're was gone and things were no longer so simple. To make things more complicated, Jack had stood over his bed with loneliness and longing in his eyes and Daniel had wanted him with a fierceness that had startled him.

What made him an even bigger bastard was his distinct lack of regret. He'd wanted to know what sex with Jack would be like and now he knew. Oh boy, did he know. He knew that Jack squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered when he came. He knew Jack liked to have the backs of his knees licked. He could still taste him in his mouth.

He flung an arm over his eyes. What the hell was he going to do? Obviously, this couldn't happen again, no matter how much he might want it to. He had a wife whom he loved and who needed him to rescue her from the living hell she was stuck in. He didn't care what anyone said, he knew that something of the host had to survive. Someone who was as strong as Sha're would never allow herself to be crushed without a fight.

It hadn't taken long to fall in love with her. She was kind and passionate and smart and had a thirst for knowledge that was as great as his own. She couldn't learn fast enough to suit her. She'd learn to read so quickly that she was soon helping him teach the others. She'd been fascinated by his tales of Earth, though his wish to take her there someday had seemed impossible at the time. Once she got over the initial culture shock, he was sure she'd love it.

His days were spent exploring with Skaara. When they'd found the cartouche room and Daniel had realized what it was, he couldn't keep his excitement under control. Sha're, on the other hand, did not like it one bit. If Daniel was right, would he leave her to go back to the Tauri? No amount of reassurance on his part could ease her mind.

But what if he was right and the Stargate could go to planets other than Earth? He'd have to go back to Earth to let them know. They could explore the universe. Maybe there were other inhabited planets out there. The idea that excited him so much made Sha're more and more uneasy. He loved Abydos and her people. He loved his family. But after nearly two years of sand and heat and the limited cuisine, his mind and his feet got itchy. So he let his intellectual curiosity override his better judgment and opened the gate.

Sha're had been taken as a host because he couldn't leave well enough alone.

Jack stirred next to him, bringing him back to the present. Sleep had smoothed out his skin, making him look years younger. His lips were turned up in a slight smile. He felt his cock hardening as his eyes swept down the hard angles and planes of Jack's body. The urge to wake him up for another round was nearly irresistible.

But he had to resist, didn't he? He also had to get the hell out of Jack's house and the sooner, the better. Although he understood the necessity, he still couldn't believe they had closed up his apartment so fast. At least they hadn't had a chance to get rid of his stuff. It was all in storage. He would have to go out tomorrow and find a place. Any place. The temptation was just too great with Jack right there for the taking. It would be better for both of them.

+++++  
Jack awoke to find Daniel lying curled on his side with his back to him, the blanket pulled up to his neck to ward off the early morning chill. He wanted to touch him, to feel his warm skin and be sure he was alive.

That was insane, it really was. Jack knew that Daniel was alive. He'd certainly been alive last night and he came three times to prove it. The smell of sex clung to the sheets and their bodies and his dick was getting hard just thinking about what they'd got up to last night.

It couldn't happen again. Daniel was married, happily. Jack was career military and Daniel was on his team. And those were just three of the dozens of reasons why the whole sex thing was just not a good idea.

An inch at a time, he made his way out of bed. He went through his morning routine as quietly as possible in the hopes of leaving for work before Daniel woke up. That made him a coward, he knew, but he wasn't up to dealing with the mess he'd created just yet.

Jack spent the day dealing with the paperwork that had mounted while he'd been dealing with Daniel's "death," the nagging feeling that he wasn't really dead, and his subsequent rescue. By the time he got home, and despite spending the day at his desk, he was more exhausted than if he'd fought off an entire platoon of Jaffa. Single handedly. All he wanted was to suck down a lot of beer and stare mindlessly at the television until he fell asleep..

Unfortunately, Daniel had other ideas. Stuck to the refrigerator was a yellow sticky note that read:

_On the roof._

Jack closed his eyes and sighed into the empty room. So much for his plans for the evening. Daniel wouldn't have bothered with the note unless he wanted Jack to join him. He stalled by making a pot of coffee and pouring it into a thermos. He grabbed two cups and walked up the stairs to the deck. Daniel was sprawled on a blanket on the deck, his hands tucked under his head, staring at the stars. He looked like he'd been doing some heavy-duty thinking.

"Hey," Jack said quietly, sitting down beside Daniel and pouring steaming hot liquid from the thermos. He handed Daniel one of the mugs.

"Thanks," Daniel murmured and sat up to take a sip. He shivered slightly in the cold night air and cupped his hands around the mug. He returned his gaze upwards.

Long moments passed in silence until Daniel asked softly, "Can you see Abydos from here?"

"Ah, Daniel." Not this, please.

"Can you?" he asked again.

"No, my telescope isn't powerful enough."

"So you tried."

Jack ran his hands through his hair and stopped short of tugging on it. Of course, he tried. A month or so after returning from Abydos to find Sara gone, he'd made his drunken way to the roof. She'd been right to leave, but how he missed her.

And he missed Daniel. The man had gotten under his skin in a very short time and not just because he'd saved his miserable life but because he'd thought Jack's miserable life was worth saving. But thinking about Daniel was totally pointless. Daniel was far, far away and would never be coming back. He had pointed the telescope in the direction of Abydos, hoping he'd see it, but figuring it was too far. He was right.

Daniel was looking at him, and Jack would have given anything to avoid having the conversation they were about to have. To just pretend last night hadn't happened, but it had and so–

"Look, Daniel, about last night--"

Daniel turned his head sharply to glare at Jack. "Don't."

"Daniel--"

"No. If you dare say you're sorry, I'll throw your ass off this roof."

Jack smiled at that. He was tempted to see if he could piss Daniel off enough to make him try. He wasn't sorry though. Last night had scratched an itch that had been bothering him since Abydos.  
No, he wasn't sorry and said so.

"Well, I'm not either. Still, it shouldn't have happened."

"No, it shouldn't have."

"It can't happen again."

"No, it can't."

And that was it. They sat quietly for a long time, Daniel gazing at the stars wistfully and Jack watching him.

"I love Sha're," Daniel finally said.

"I never doubted that for a minute."

"And I love you."

Jack rocked back a little. He'd known this, of course, he just hadn't expected Daniel to say it out loud. He didn't know if he could or even should say it back.

Before Jack could come up with any response at all, Daniel rescued him. "It's okay, Jack. I know."

Jack was still speechless, but Daniel continued on as if his vocal declaration and Jack's unspoken one had never happened. "I found an apartment. It's over by the university. The guy who owns it is a researcher. Just got a big grant to go work in France. He needs somebody to take over the lease by the end of the month."

What? That quick? "That's tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know. I've already moved some of my stuff in."

"Why the hurry?"

He shrugged. "It's just the way it worked out. Besides, I figured you might want it that way."

"What makes you think that?"

"The way you snuck out of bed this morning."

Well, he had Jack there. Before he could stutter out a denial, Daniel smiled. "It's okay, Jack. It's better this way. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you. And God knows, you can't keep your hands off me."

Cocky little bastard. "Pretty damn sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"Hey, you were the one who snuck into my room and molested me."

So that was the way he wanted to play it. Okay, Jack could do this. "Oh, please. Molested you? You were begging for it." He waggled his fingers, tracing invisible quotation marks in the air. "'Accidently' letting the covers slip down and batting your eyelashes at me. I was helpless before your wiles, seduced against my will."

Daniel was laughing. Really laughing. It was something Jack hadn't seen since . . . . Damn, he didn't think he'd ever seen Daniel do anything more than snicker a little. His laughter lit up his face and Jack couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed him briefly.

"Jack . . ."

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself."

"Told you couldn't keep your hands off me."

"Technically, those were my lips."

Daniel just looked smug and snagged the thermos.

"Damn," he muttered sadly when he discovered it was empty. "I should go to bed anyway. Big day tomorrow. Moving, you know."

"Need help?"

"Nah, I hired some guys."

"What for? Teal'c, Carter and I can help you. Teal'c can probably move most of that crap by himself."

Jack expected Daniel to protest over his priceless artifacts being referred to as crap, but he didn't. He was still smiling as he stood and stretched, shaking his head. "No, Jack." Then he said good night before disappearing down the stairs.

Jack wrapped his arms around his knees and pulled them to his chest. It was getting really cold and his butt was going numb, but he wasn't ready to go in just yet. He only wished Daniel hadn't drunk all the coffee.

Daniel. It seemed the man was an inevitability in his life. He would have bet that after leaving Abydos the first time, he'd never see him again. Less than two years later, there he was, drinking Abydonian rotgut and listening Daniel and Carter argue for the first, but certainly not the last, time.

If he believed in that shit and if he wanted to admit to Daniel that he did listen to him, he'd say that destiny had thrown him and Daniel together. Or maybe that the fates were playing games with them. Dangling what they both wanted in front of them, so tantalizingly close, but not allowing them to have it.

What an incredibly stupid thought. Jack stood up stiffly and tried to shake the soreness out of his knees. Time to go to bed. Tomorrow Daniel would move and SG-1 would just happen to show up to help. Soon, they'd be back to work and he and Daniel would go on as if nothing had changed when in fact everything had.

Jack took one last look at the night sky and made his way downstairs. Above him, Abydos spun unseen, casting its shadow on them both.

 

 


End file.
